spoonyoyster:

Sasha Grey has a lot of guts.

And I don’t know how she does it sometimes. If you see just 1/100th of the press that’s done on her, you’ll see that most of it is her defending herself from journalists/moms/talking heads. And seeing this video makes me realize two things: 

1. Whoopi Goldberg is the only one there that gets it. 
2. As a culture we actively work to dehumanize and oppress people (mostly women) who work in the adult entertainment industry.  

This is sexism against women in its most clever and deceptive form—one that is championed by women in supposed support of women. In other words, our culture has pitted women against each other and the net effect is that women continue to stay small in rigid stereotypes while sexism goes unchecked. It’s too hard to think that women and porn can peacefully co-exist. It’s too hard to think that there is the idea of choice in porn or that one can view porn as a host for many complicated issues (both good and bad). 

This was an ambush on The View. Instead of talking about the real issue here (why are people so upset about Sasha reading to kids and what does this say about our society?) they made the issue a personal one (not in a good way) under the guise of being a moral one. They made it personal in several ways: 

1. Sheri Shepherd, probably the dumbest person to be a member of The View, asking how she’s going to explain to her son what a pornstar is. If you as a parent can’t create a sensitive and age-appropriate answer, you are unfit to be a parent. Any parent with any parenting ability should be able to explain what a dentist does, what a pornstar does, or what a police-officer does. 

2. Barbara Walters questioning why Sasha would even want to do this in the first place? Why not? What’s wrong with volunteering for a local school? If you understand the simple concept that says: more affluent the area=the more parental involvement and volunteering where the less affluent the area=the less parental involvement and volunteering, you should thank her for wanting to donate her time. What’s more upsetting is that the question suggests that someone like her shouldn’t want to volunteer. It’s much easier to stereotype a pornstar or former pornstar as some vapid, wretch of a person with no sense of community or moral compass. But if you’re a good parent or a good educator, you show your kids honesty and integrity. You don’t have to play a DVD of Sasha Grey’s adult films but you can (if it comes up) have a conversation that is fitting: “Sasha is a TV actress but she’s also acted in adult movies where you have to be 18 or sometimes 21 and older to watch. These movies are for adults only.” What’s an adult movie? A kid might ask. “An adult movie is a movie made for adults by adults. You know how there are cartoons and shows where it’s for kids and adults really don’t watch those? There are adult movies where some adults watch those and kids don’t watch those.” It’s not that hard and that took all of 2 minutes to think of. 

3. Barbara saying that “being a pornstar isn’t something you hope your children aspire to be.” Sasha wasn’t forced into sex-trafficking at the age of 5. That’s something you don’t hope for your children. Someone choosing to be an adult entertainer is, to make this exhausted argument again, a choice. A lot of parents don’t want their kids to be in the military fighting a war that they don’t believe in or is possibly breaking international law. If a school wanted to have a soldier come in to read to the kids, what’s the harm? They’re not there to talk about covert operations in Kabul or the overspending of the military or the killing of innocent Iraqi civilians. The point of having people of all walks come in to read is to show that everyone loves to read. Reading is important. No matter what job you have, you will read. As the NBA used to say, “Reading is Fundamental.”

4. Whoopi shares a personal story about being a child growing up next to pornstars. This is perhaps the only sane moment in the interview because instead of heaping on women who do porn=evil garbage, she made it personal. Whoopi is saying these people are people. What a concept. 

5. And finally, Barbara chiming in as the old grandmother asking “what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like that?” Before this, she questions why Sasha even entered the business if she believes in education and likes working with kid. I can’t believe this came out of Barbara’s mouth. We’re talking about a woman who pioneered the news industry for women. This question isn’t really a question. It’s more of a setup to try and get Sasha to break down and repent for all of her supposed faults. Actually, the entire interview has this tone. It’s difficult for society to accept that a woman might be in the industry and simultaneously be a good, clear thinking person. It’s easier to demonize someone and say that, eventually, they’ll wake up and realize how wrong their actions were. It’s a bully tactic that is based on the oppression of women: you don’t know what you were doing and you don’t have a mind of your own. It’s like an episode of Mad Men all over again. It just looks like it’s not oppression because it’s women doing it. It’s obvious that Barbara and co. don’t like the porn industry (that’s fine, not everyone has to) but their attitude informs their criticism of Sasha. You can criticize the industry, fine. But when you fail to see the person, the woman, behind it what you really do is create distance and isolation between people. Like Whoopi said, she lived next to and got to know pornstars when she was a kid. When you do that and have actual conversations with them, then you can create closeness and understanding.  

Sasha has a lot of guts. It’s just unfortunate that one has to have so much guts and take so much shit to be truly heard as a person. 

albinwonderland:

Everybody knows by now from women’s magazines “on the street” questionnaires that men prefer us all in a simple white T and jeans and a bare face. So sexy! So casual!

In case you need a reminder, behold this recent Shape article on “What Men Really Think About Your Makeup.” Some sample quotes:

“Men want to kiss a woman’s face and not the makeup that’s on it. Who wants to feel like they are kissing a mask?”

“I think you can tell a lot about a woman’s personality by the makeup she wears. If it’s heavier, especially during the day, she’s more exaggerated and theatrical and may be hiding something. If it’s lighter, she’s more down to earth.”

“Nobody wants to kiss a clown!”

“All three of my ladies (my wife and two teenage daughters) are naturally beautiful, so I like when they wear no makeup or just something to highlight their big, beautiful eyes.”

“I think most women, my fiancée included, are pretty enough and don’t need a lot of makeup.”

How does this piss me off? Let me count the ways.

First of all, no one “needs” makeup. I hate the implication that makeup is something ugly women use to make themselves look less ugly, which is the flipside of “my fiance is pretty so she doesn’t need makeup.” Makeup is about enhancing beauty, not covering up ugly.

You may have noticed by now that there’s nothing subtle about my personal beauty ideal. I like the tallest shoes, the tightest skirts, the highest hair and the biggest tits possible. It’s funny that Jane “Makeunder” Pratt ended up with a Managing Editor with the style aesthetic of a drag queen an a Beauty Director whose black eyeliner you can basically pull from her cold, dead talons. If nobody wants to kiss a clown, I’m sort of in trouble, because I’m basically a sex clown.

But even more than being annoyed by the implication that there’s one right way to be sexy, I’m dubious that men have even the slightest idea what they’re talking about when they say “no makeup.” Most guys I’ve dated couldn’t explain the difference between a skirt and a dress, so forgive me if I am hesitant to believe they fully grasp the uses and appearance of various cosmetics. In fact, I hypothesize that they actually don’t know the difference between no makeup and natural-looking makeup.

Which is why these same dudes who prefer us make-up free can turn around and drool over the world’s most beautiful models and actresses, not one of whom they’ve ever seen with a bare face. 

And in the end that’s what really, really pisses me off about the whole thing — that we can read about how men don’t like us to wear makeup on page 39, then turn to page 40 and see photos of gorgeous models who spent hours in the makeup chair or ads for the very same cosmetics we don’t need.

It’s the disconnect of being trained since birth to look a certain way, only to have dudes turn around and go, “Don’t you know we hate all that stuff on your face?” Like it was our idea! Like women collectively woke up one day and thought, “Wouldn’t it be awesome to slap a bunch of chemicals and dyes on our faces every morning from now on?”

We’ve got a multi-billion dollar industry doing their best to remind us daily that we need what they’re selling, so don’t act all befuddled about where we got the idea that we looked better this way. Plus, it’s not like men don’t still expect us to look beautiful. They just don’t want us cheating with cosmetics. Hope your face is naturally flawless!

And while we’re talking, don’t you ladies know how annoying it is that you’re all hung up on your weight? Sure, we expect you to have a great body. But don’t be one of those lame girls who orders salads on a date. We like to see you eat! 

Most of the time, when men say they prefer “natural beauty,” they don’t mean that they’re ready for us to start leaving the house the way we roll out of bed in the morning. They mean that they want us to look perfect without appearing to try.

Basically, it’s a trap.

And look, if you’re a dude who is genuinely turned off by a made-up face, that’s your business. You can’t change your preference any more than I can suddenly become attracted to skinny dudes. But there are enough women out there who will fit your ideal that you don’t need to go around sharing it with those of us who don’t.

Because in the end, the only person we’re obligated to please with what we put on our heads, bodies, or faces is ourselves. And while I’m aware that my mode of self-representation is often more impressive to women and gay men than the dudes interviewed in these kinds of features, I just can’t stop being a big ol’ larger-than-life, red-lipped Glamazon.

Luckily for me, some men DO want to kiss a clown.

Article by Emily Mccombs. View on it’s original page here.